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Midnight Project

Posts sent on: 2012-10-15

15 Oct 2012 

If you're going to be a Theif, Atlest be a good Theif.

Those intellagant words are from my ICA teacher, Mr. Boyer.
Well, I don't know what there is to say. My emotions have been changeing just as quickly as the messed up Kansas weather. Last night, well to say it was a bad night would be a miserable understatment. Sometimes I just get myself so worked up or so depressed I can't breath, and that was how I spent last night. Nothing ever helps, exsept one thing. One thing that I've promised multiple people I wont do, but I don't think they really understand my reasons. Anyways...Part of what I got to thinking about last night was Kellz ans I. Our friendship, crap we've done to piss eachother off, the different things she does that make me hate myself, different things that make me feel like I deserve it. Just a bunch of crap. So I'm hopping to talk to her later today, just about our friend ship in general. I don't know. I really have nothing to say. So I'll end this in a quote from one of my favorite people in the world.
"Go with your gut, 'cause your gut is smarter than your heart" -Gerard Way
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15 Oct 2012 

Nostalgia II

Obviously this is more entertaining than sleeping...but my nostalgia playlist:

This image brings back a few memories, so I figured it was a good Nostalgia banner...

1. Summer of '69 - Bryan the bowling for soup version cuz it's almost as good

2. All the Small Things - Blink-182

3. One Week - Barenaked Ladies

4. Inside Out - Eve 6

5. Be My Escape - Relient K

6. The Kids Aren't Alright - The Offspring

7. Lips of an Angel - Hinder

8. What Hurts the Most - Rascal Flatts

9. Jar of Hears - Christina Perri...I don't even really like this just has a lot of memories attached to it for me

10. Slim Shady - Eminem

11. Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang

12. I'm Blue - Eiffel 65

I want to bring up that, with this video, Teenager by My Chemical Romance will appear if you click load more suggestions...that just happens to be my favorite band and they sound nothing like this so it's just kind of funny

13. We Will Rock You - Queen

14. Unwell - Matchbox 20

15. Dancing Queen - Abba

16. In the End - Linkin Park - old Linkin Park!

17. Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day

18. Mr. Brightside - The Killers

19. Icky Thump - The White Stripes

20. Sweet Dreams - Marilyn Manson

There were a million other songs that I wanted to put up here...It's probably a good thing that I didn't, but I still would have liked to. The last ones hit the nostalgia right on the nose, I was just getting started with the first ones. I don't know if I'm the only one who gets whipped with nostalgia when I hear these songs, but they get me pretty bad and I think they're amazing
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15 Oct 2012 


I'll be honest, I love being nostalgiac. I love to think back to everything that I've done...even the things that I'm not so proud of. Because at least I can say that I did them. I am living my life, I'm not existing, I'm not surviving, but I'm living. Last winter I was merely existing, sometimes living vicariously through Becca, but it's not the same as taking those chances yourself and seizing the moment. I make stupid, bad, rash decisions that are in the moment. I've gotten into more trouble than I could get myself out of and still here I am. Sometimes my nostalgia makes me angry and I end up saying or thinking things that I don't mean. Things that I come to regret later when I realize how useless it was to be angry. Because it's all in the past. But there are things that can still make me cry if I think about them. I honestly let myself cry a lot more than I used to. I've learned that it does help. It's embarrassing and degrading and makes me feel so worthless and pathetic but in the end it makes me feel so much better. Just to let everything out. If I could I would scream my problems at the top of my lungs, but my parents don't know that half of my problems even exist, so instead I go and hide in my room and cry. But I'm a strong person, stronger than people think. It's so irritating when someone thinks that I can't handle myself. I hate people sticking up for me in situations where I'd rather just take the blow than cower behind my friend or my mom. I don't like it when people fight my battles for me and I don't like it when people make decisions for me. I'm my own person and I can handle myself. And this is irrelevent but I was just listening to One Week by Barenaked Ladies (who I just realized wrote that song) and I love the line "I'm the kinda guy who laughs at a funeral" it's just fitting...

From the more...well shallow side of me, I have a couple of stories and things going on in my life, none too exciting though...well depending on your definition of exciting. Um I write, I draw, I do all kinds of artistic shit and I recently entered a writing contest within my school. It's called Authors in Residence and Douglass Goheen is the speaker this year and I'm honestly really excited because if my writing gets accepted...well I get out of school for two days to write all day. There are two ways to get accepted, though:
a) applying and getting accepted because your writing is great
b) getting recommended by a teacher, even if you don't apply
Now, last year I went through option A because I don't think a teacher recommended me. One of my friends applied through option B without even knowing that they were being recommended or what Authors in Residence was. I had a third friend who also went through option A. My two friends got accepted. The first because they were recommended by a teacher and apparently that takes precedence over actually wanting to be involved in the program. My other friend originally did not get into the program, but because a student was absent ended up getting accepted because her last name was the next in the alphabet. What the hell kind of system is that? I promise to kill my librarian if I don't get accepted this year. I've worked my ass off for this two years straight and it's pissing me off. But we'll see.
Ok, next story is a dream that I had on Wednesday night. Alright that night we'd had a band competition and that tends to get my blood - and hormones - pumping. I mean I was about to jump a friend of mine sitting to my left, it was bad. But at least I'm not the only that it happens to. When I got home I thought that all of THAT was over but apparently not. I woke up the next morning feeling ill and I stayed home. I layed in bed for a while and then I had one of those "holy shit" moments where my eyes flew open and I could only be horrified with myself. I had ended up remembering that while I was sleeping I had a very graphic dream about having sex with the guy who had sat on my left on Wednesday. I haven't seen him since then, but tomorrow should be interesting when I DO see him. I'm a little scared to be honest. I mean I've liked this guy for a while but this was a first because I don't like him to that extent...I tried changing the mental image to my brother's gorgeous friend Marcus but it's like the image is engrained in my memory and I might be scarred by the whole thing. It was...weird. Becca is gonna give me so much shit for this haha. I'm never going to live this dream down.

- Kelly R. Koontz

Ok, so I seriously like the song of night/day/post wtf ever thing, but I can never decide on one song!!! I could just make a list I guess, ooh, that's a good idea, a playlist of the week or some shit...I'm gonna post one tonight probably titled Nostalgia II with songs that I remember from when I was a kid, I'll play them for Becca later and she's gonna look at me like I'm crazy because she hasn't heard a single one of the songs but it'll be cool. I'll probably post the vids, too, even if Becca can't watch 'em. That's depressing...But anyway I guess a song of the night, because that seems to be the only time I ever post would be...well Becca is gonna skin me for this xD

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Categories: First category