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Midnight Project

Posts sent on: 2012-09-24

24 Sep 2012 

Why I Shower

"The darkness wasn't on the horizon, or looming overhead; no, the darkness was already inside, consuming me. It rolled off my skin like a thick fog and curled itself around my ankles. It filled my lungs like smoke until I couldn't breathe. No, there wasn't darkness on the horizon, the darkness was already back in full force and attacking relentlessly."

^ exactly why I shower ^

Anyway...I had like four different ideas of what I wanted to post after I got that up. Um, a lot of things have been happening in my head and nothing seems to be quite right. I think my friend Hannah messed things up with Garett for me. She told him that I was making a joke out of his feelings. I'm not the touchy feely type most of the time, but I'm not about to make fun of him for being honest. Right now I can feel some of my depression coming back. I've done a good job, lately, with keeping myself busy and focused so that I don't really have the energy to think about anything too...profound. I'm just tired. Always. I want to break down and cry about nothing. Unless you really think about it, then I'm crying about everything. I'll be honest, I just deleted half of this paragraph because I was saying so much that shouldn't be said to the public. And I've deleted it all before for fear that someone I know is going to read it. Someone that wouldn't understand, but might try to understand. I can't even begin to describe the pain that I'm in. I'm out guys. I'll post something happier another time. There's just a lot that I wish I could have said.

- Kelly R. Koontz

Also, I don't know if Becca wants me to do the song of the day thing, too, but if so here is my song

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